Dealing with Parents

In coaching youth sports, there are a number of challenges you will face; teaching players the proper fundamentals, preparing effective practice plans, developing game strategies are only a few. One of the most difficult aspects you may face is dealing with the parents of your players.

There are two things to remember about parents (myself included): at times they view their children through rose-colored glasses and they are very protective of their children. This view by parents can make for very difficult situations in sports. Especially team sports where no individual should take priority over the team as a whole.

A key aspect in effectively dealing with parents is proper communication. A situation can turn from bad to worse if there is miscommunication or no communication between parent and coach.

Communication starts with beginning of the season Parent Letter and Parent Meeting. In the parent letter, outline your coaching philosophy, goals for the team, rules for the players and rules for the parents, practice and game schedule, coach's contact information, league rules, etc. This letter can be as detailed as you feel necessary, and may include information on positions, playing time, etc. As previously stated you need to get this information out in the open at the start of the season. If a parent has an issue with any of the information, you will need to address their concerns IMMEDIATELY.

As the season progresses, their may be situations where a parent will have an issue: "Why is my son not playing more? Why is my daughter not playing a certain position?" Once again, these issues need to be addressed immediately. In many cases there is a reason why you as a coach have decided who plays what position and why. However, in some cases this may be a simple oversight by the coaches. Whatever the case may be, it is better for the coach and parent to talk about the situation, so everyone has a common understanding on why things are done the way they are.

We suggest that communication during the season NOT TAKE PLACE IMMEDIATELY AFTER A GAME. Right after a game is where emotions are at their height. Think about it; professional, college and high school coaches usually have a "cooling down" period before they address the media. You and the parents should have a cooling down period before you address each other. BEFORE or AFTER PRACTICE is good time to have a coach-parent discussion. In your beginning of the season letter, inform your player's parents when the best time to talk is.

We also suggest that you instruct the parents NOT TO USE EMAIL as a way to communication an issue/problem. People tend to write things in an email that they would never say face to face, our civilized guard is down. I am sure we have all had situations at work where after reading over an email, we decided not to hit the "send" button. And when it comes to a perceived injustice to their children, many parents hit the send button when they should not.

Remember, you are the coach. You have a way that you want to run the team. You don't have to change to appease one parent, however you should listen to a concern a parent may have and explain your philosophy/reasoning.

When dealing with parents, communication is the key.

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